. . . then the answer is absolutely no amount of money in the whole entire billion trillion universe, because they are the most precious angels who ever lived. I am referring, obviously, to Sadie Boots and Henry Foot, aka Mr. Mcgoo, Mr. Walters, Mr. Man, Jimmy Tummyrumbles, The Red Rooster, Hankypants, or his Domican alias, Henrique Pantalones. Together these 2 muppets are collectively referred to as the Shmoops because you can’t help but make ridiculous noises and names when in their presence.
And the Shmoops on one of their 5,936 walks a day:
I am clearly partial to poooodles, but if, one day god willing, Beezus meets Mr. Right and settles down in the Bestchester with a good man and some mini-Beezus’, I will finally become the dog owner I was meant to be. If and when that day comes, here are some of the canine options I’ve been mulling over the years:
Ooooh I love these dogs, and there’s a surprisingly large population of them in my hood. My favs are the parti-Danes with the black and white spots. They’re actually known for being good apartment dogs, so I suppose this could be an option if I’m still in NYC in 10 years (shudder).
Portugese Water Dogs (Porties, for short)
Cute cutie cute. Shout out to Snag’s Portie Izzy and her Maryland cousins Casey and Bethenny (and the late Zoe, RIP). Medium size, soft, shiny black hypoallergenic coats with that adoooorable white tuxedo and fuzzy white paws. Love.
Sweet fancy Moses are these dogs ridiculously adorable. The Feinbergs met a fabulous standard Goldendoodle named Duncan on his nightly beach walk at LBI this summer. The minis are apparently Portie-size, which seems much more manageable.
Wire Fox Terriers
JTJ and Patrick were supposed to get one of these nuggets, but their fancy upholstery took priority. I’m not usually a huge fan of terriers, but I love the Wire Fox’s alert little face and handsome white, black and tan coloring. Very top drawer.
Soft-Coated Wheaten Terriers
Again, another terrier, but Wheatons remind me more of a golden Portie than anything else. I’ve known a few Wheatons and they’ve all been SO SWEET. Plus they have that irresistable shaggy, sandy-colored fur.
Bernese Mountain Dogs
Big, fluffy lumbering balls of cuteness. Bernese puppies make me weak at the knees. Only drawback is that they’re predisposed to hip dysplasia and often die young. Ahhhh too horrible to think or write about . . . .
My love for Havanese’s began with Molly Wiggles, the adorable lady belonging to my friend Jess’ parents in Scarsdale (the Dale, as peeps from the Bestchester refer to it). They got her when we were sophomores in college over winter break and she weighed 4 lbs and was really wriggly and fluffy and ridiculous, all the things I value most in puppies.
If aforementioned future house in the Bestchester is large enough, Airedales would certainly shoot to the top of my list. Kind of like really big Wire Fox Terriers, but with chestnut and black fur.
Any mix involving Poos, Doodles, or Doos
Cockapoos, labradoodles, malti-poos, havapoos, schnoodles, springerdoodles, cavapoos, Jack-a-poos, Bernedoodles, Poovanese, and whoodles, any of the above would also work. And yes, these are all real things.
Lastly – if you haven’t already figured this out, DailyPuppy is an essential start to every day. Puppies in adorable poses making ridiculous faces. TOO.CUTE.