As a preview to an upcoming post I’m planning on the ultimate playlist for the holidays and a backgrounder for my own x-makuh wishlist that follows below, I’d like to share with you a little diddy that is close to every Feinberg girl’s heart:
Now, Eartha (the peerless queen of all things sassy and top drawer) hits on a lot of key life lessons here. Let’s review:
- Aim high. For all you lazy biatches who couldn’t take two minutes out of your busy schedules to listen to a one-of-a-kind classic about wanting – and deserving – awesome shiz, my girl Eartha requests the following items for Christmas: a fur coat, a light blue convertible, a yacht, the deed to a platinum mine (genius – the gift that keeps on giving), a gigantic apartment, checks (hopefully blank, also genius), loot from Tiffany’s, and a diamond ring (the diamond is an assumption being that she clearly specified that she was not referring to a phone call. She could have very well wanted an emerald or a sapphire or a ruby – and I don’t hate it!)
- Make your case. Okay, maybe it really is the thought that counts. I really do buy that. But that doesn’t mean you can’t lobby for shiz that is both thoughtful AND desirable! Like Eartha does, go ahead and put in a few good words to remind people how well you’ve behaved, how appreciative you’ll be, and what could be in it for them to get you something fabulous. If you’re not yet comfortable with the self-advocacy thing just ask Katy, our very own registered lobbyist!
- Never underestimate the power of stocking stuffers. Clichés become clichés because they are dependably factual, and such is the case with “good things come in small packages.” While you may not get a duplex and checks over your mantle like Eartha, there’s plenty of other awesome shiz that can fit in an oversized sock. LINDA(!!) is the master of making the stockings the stars of Christmas morning: think really fun sparkly jewelry (J Crew necklaces and Kate Spade earrings, yes please!), tippy top drawer items from our favorite make-up counters (think Chanel eye quads, Nars everything, etc etc), and delicious candy – specifically a year’s supply of See’s butterscotch lollipops.
Which brings me to my fantasy Christ-makuh wish list for 2011. [[Linda- if you are reading this (and I know you are) – this is NOT for real. Again, fantasy wish list. Do not go to the Westchester and buy all of this shiz, Larry will be super grumpy and silent and red-faced!!]]
1. Hot hotty hot black knee-high boots that I can wear to work and to the bar
Something about these Chloe boots really revs my engine. They are perfect for transitioning from day to night, and the heel is short enough that I could actually walk more than 2 blocks without taking a serioso digger. But I really cannot talk about getting boots for Christmakuh without an all-important aside about the time that JTJ and OLP got the sisterhood matching pairs of the most beautiful knee-high Jimmys. I mean, effing amazing right? Wrong. It was all giggles and smiles until one by one, those zippers just could not be prodded past our mid-calves. It was almost as humiliating as when we took them in to get the leather stretched at Bergdorfs and the salespeople had to choke back laughter as they told us that no amount of stretching could help our sad situation. You know what you 68-year-old-hag-from-Queens-with-a-terrible-dye-job? You show me your thirteen-and-a-half-inch calves and I’ll show you my 25-inch waist! So, word to the wise on receiving boots this Christmakuh: calf circumference is kind of like engagement ring size – sure, you’re not technically supposed to know you’re getting it, but it’s better to make sure the giver has your measurements than to be hopelessly budge budge budging.
2. New bedding to replace my Margified (read: filthy) quilt.
I’ve had a great run with the Anthro quilt I got a couple of years ago (at left) – it’s super soft and happy-looking, and I never run into that annoying thing where the duvet gets bunched up and lost inside the duvet cover (the WORST!). The problem is that I am the second coming of Pigpen, and I cannot be depended upon to take that thing to the dry cleaner on the reg like I’m supposed to. It’s time for some bed linens that I can just throw in the washing machine and be done with – fussy, finished. The Jonathan Adler styles below are catching my fancy and go nicely with the indigo sateen sheets/pillow cases from Coyuchi that I’m planning on keeping.
3. Big gaudy jewelry from Kate Spade
Remember back at the turn of the 21st century when all anyone wanted from Kate Spade were those stupid little black satin bags with the stitched labels so you could parade them around at bar/bat mitzvahs every weekend with your Tiffany dog collars and Steve Madden wedges? Well, my friends, those days have come and gone. Serious big-ups to Kate for managing to transition from being a darling of the circa-2000 Westchester JAP set into the single most fun source for cute/retro-ish dresses that smartly toe the line of cutesy without going into Lilly Pulitzer territory, smart, well-made bags for any occasion, and the most fun, colorful, wearable jewelry out there. When Linda walks into the Kate Spade at the Westchester, she basically gets a standing ovation for the amount of business she’s given them – the woman loves her a good shift and a fun pair of flats. Behold, some awesome necklaces to jazz up a basic black dress at work or complete a tippy top drawer cocktail ensemble.
4. The C-Wonder Vespa
I know Vespas are so overdone at this point, but that does not mean that they’re not still the coolest. Let’s see- a vehicle to save yourself from having to walk/subway/bus everywhere that also comes in a million different jewel tones? Such a winner. According to Snags, I will never ever ever ever ever get a Vespa after the time he had to wait for two hours for the ambulance to arrive with some dumb chickenhead who got mowed over by a garbage truck as she was scootering around DC, but a girl can dream. And this one is covered in ROSES!