My siblings will try and tell you that I don’t like “activities” and travel. Au Contraire, shitbrains.
I’ll go anywhere where there’s leisure, air conditioning, cabanas, gingers running amuck, jacket-only dining rooms, and hot totties.
I also have a fondness for OUTINGS, especially if the event in question revolves around getting tipsy and making a spectacle.
A Sampling of Katy’s 2012 Calendar
Event: UNC v. DUKE
When: Wednesday, February 8th, 2012 – 9pm EST
Where: The Dean Dome, Chapel Hill NC
Why: Pass me a 20 oz. Sweetwater Blue because this girl will either be watching live or once again perched on the terrace at Top of the Hill to witness the mayhem of the best rivalry in college athletics – and the only sport I could give a flying fook about.
Props: Perrwinkle Doo Rag, Pepper Spray
Event: Carolina Cup
When: Saturday, March 31st, 2012
Where: Springdale Race Cource, Camden, South Carolina
Why: Celebrating the 80th Anniversary of this “season opener” of six steeplechase races, where Lilly P explodes her neon vortex all over a jam-packed crowd of shmancy tailgates.
Props: Shift Dress, Wide-Brim Hat, Large Sunglasses to hide your blonde-targeted death stares, Claritin
Event: Vail Lacrosse Shootout
When: June 30th-July 4th 2012
Where: Vail, Colorado
Why: Seasoned players – and the spectators that love them – from near and far storm the mountain in this mecca of laxtastic summer glory. Cue the Weather Girls classic, “It’s raining men.” What can I say, once a stat girl, always a stat girl. Also gives me an excuse to see my homegirl Liana and her band of merry skibums.
Props: Sherpa, OWU v. Denison t-shirt, Inhaler
Event: Opera House Cup Regatta
Where: Nantucket, Mass
When: Sunday, August 19, 2012
Why: Because Figawai weekend is for amateurs. Possibly the most pleasant place on the planet and home to broken dreams and future husbands – forget Israel, this is my promised land.
Props: Aloe Vera (this pastycake freckles, at best), Ray Ban Wayfarers, Backup supply of Dignity