It’s a liar’s world and the number of absolute liferuiners and overrated fools seems to be mulitplying. Because Free Range Chickenheads was such a wild success, I figured it was high time to rank the most annoying and despicable douchelords out there. I generally file guys into the following categories: Liars, Chaunceys/Tools, Jabronis, Relatives, Friends, Colleagues, and Smush Targets. Ex-Boos go into the Liars file, whereas Pauly D goes into the Jabroni drawer. Sometimes these categories overlap, such as with Friends and Smush Targets, but I try my damndest to not mix genres…
So here they are, Babygirl’s list of the most obviously terrible xy chromosomes on God’s green Earth…
10. Justin Theroux
Being Rachel Green’s man meat seems about as much fun as chugging battery acid and humping plywood. This is honestly the weakest attempt at trying to be relevent ever. Ugh he should’ve just stopped after his cameo in American Psycho, such a treasure.
9. Prince Joffrey Baratheon
What a little twatwaffle. Look at him manhandle Sansa the ginger. I hope his inbred arse gets whats coming to him, which would be Numeria the Direwolf biting him in the shnitzle.
8. Syrian President Bashar al-Assad
More like Ba-SHARD. As in doo doo. Stand down already, mang.
Fook Dook…Freshman sloot
Give Dick back his New Years Rockin’ Eve and bury American Idol deep within the Earth’s core so my ears can stop bleeding from your creepy send-offs
5. Marcus Bachmann
His deplorable “Pray Away the Gay” therapy sure is a crock considering anyone with decent gaydar can see his love for Barbara and chintz a mile away.
4. Jim Bellino (Real Housewives of Orange County)
Need I say more?
I’m sorry, a lot of you hoes love this “guy.” He’s too pretty. And looks like an alien that landed his jetpack into a meteor filled with Bumble and Bumble pomade.
2. Rich Santorum
Homeboy deserves this glitter bombing almost as much as he deserves a lifetime of being forced to google his own last name. So rancid.
1. Justin Bieber
Wearing a possum on your dome is not an example I think we should be setting for the youth of AMURICA. Nor do i think that any Feinberg will ever come down with the so-called Bieber fever. Back in my day boy bands and teeny boppers were nuggets of substance. And actually hot… We had Justin Timberlake breaking it down on Mickey Mouse Club for godsake, not some Shiloh Jolie-Pitt in a brown weave. Raise your glass if you miss the heartthrobs of the Tiger Beat glory days – aka JTT, Devon Sawa, Andrew Keegan, Nick Carter, and Dylan McKay from 9-0. Now those studs were worth storming a police blockade over.