As a companion piece to my recent post regarding Dogs + Babies, here’s a tidbit from the news wire regarding Snakes + Toilets. Early Tuesday morning, a Staten Island man entered the bathroom to find a 4-ft-long California Kingsnake coiled inside his commode:
On the fear scale, 10 being trapped in a plummeting elevator, 1 being roller coasters, snakes in toilets rate about 11 for me. Rats in toilets are also pretty repugnant, but something about slithering, white porcelain, and bare bottoms gives me the serioso EEKS. I gotta hand it to Daily Intel for shedding a humorous light on this goddamn nightmare. On unsuccessfully spraying the snake with a bottle of Clorox Greenworks, Intel writes:
“Of course it wasn’t impressed! Being sprayed with Clorox Greenworks, with its refreshing “plant- and mineral-based cleaning ingredients,” was probably the most pleasant experience that snake has had in a long time. In a cruel twist of irony, our devotion to the environment has left us defenseless against nature’s predators.”
And in case you’re not satisfactorily terrified yet, here’s a few other incidents regarding serpents in scary places. Happy Thursday! Watch your bottom next time you’re on the pot!