Homegirl is heading to negocios escuela in just a few short months, which means it’s time to start exercising that part of my brain that makes it rain A’s and gold stars despite exerting the bare minimum amount of time/effort on studying.
Katy suggested that in the spirit of my triumphant return to scholastic mastery, I should divulge the secrets to my academic success. Do I have tricks? Sure I do. Just off the top of my head:
1) Repeat to yourself the following mantra: “Don’t lose your shit. It’s going to work out somehow.”
2) Always chug an iced coffee before class, don’t bring your laptop, and don’t take classes with your whole chickenhead posse in tow. If you have to spend 90 minutes of your day engaging in non-hedonistic activities, you may as well use them to your advantage. Snood can wait.
3) Take classes with hot professors. I guarantee you won’t have any problem paying attention.
And now a window onto the fine cinematic business men and women in whose footsteps I can only hope to follow:
Cosmo tells a couple of dinguses what’s up in Moonstruck. Bonus points for the Hebrew subtitles.
Bette Midler makes a bunch of her subordinates make doody in their pants in Big Business.
Before there was Jack Donaghy, there was Alec Baldwin getting an Oscar nod for his 10 minute appearance in Glengarry Glenross. Genius.
Hard to believe that Ben Affleck was once a total smokeshow and not a washed-up paunchfest with mutton chops. Two words for his performance in Boiler Room: sexual and violent.