In 64 days, I will embark on the summer of a lifetime. The kind of summer I only dreamed about as a young butterball. The kind of summer you hear about in John Cougar Mellencamp songs.
A summer of doing absolutely nothing in particular.
Starting June 8th, I will be a lady of leisure for roughly two and a half months. This is how I’m envisioning my weekdays shaking out:
10:00 AM – Awaken to the sweet silence of no alarm clock. Check DListed on my phone for any AM breaking news involving Fishsticks Paltrow, Falcor Rimes, Saint Angie, and/or my favorite washed-up adult film stars.
10:30 AM – Prepare myself an omelette and a good spicy bloody mary. Savor my freedom to booze before noon while I flip back and forth between my telenovelas (gotta brush up on my espanol!) and Sesame Street.
1:00 PM – While I’m in the neighb, swing by Sweetgreen for a criminally overpriced yet undeniably delicious salad. Feel in no way sorry for blowing $12 on a bowlful of ruffage and smiles.
2:30 PM – Pop in the earbuds and groove to some sweet Stevie Wonder/Vampire Weekend/ Fleetwood Mac jams while I stalk the local doodles at the S Street dog park and plot a puppynapping.
3:30 PM – Indulge in a few chapters of my #1 summer read: “Winning” by Jack Welsh. Take careful notes and hatch global domination scheme.
5:00 PM – Call Snags on his work line to see when he’s coming home and don’t let him off the phone even though there’s clearly a higher-up in the room and he is in no way free to chitchat.
7:30 PM – Jeopardy, duh.