I live in America. I’m not brainwashed like my two dumb dumb urbanite sisters. I like the wind in my hair and some A1 on the table. I like boys with trucks. I say “Yes, Ma’am and “No Sir.” I make eye contact with strangers.
Which is why country music is for me.
These tunes have heart. The artists have great hair. And It’s all about the simple pleasures. Easy to follow melodies. Lyrics that focus on nostalgia, boozing, back roads, making out, long lost liars, patriotism, and cut-off shorts. Seriously. Almost every song on 94.7 QDR mentions high school football, glory days, and the one that got away. I don’t hate it.
Country crooners are often tan, god-fearing, and have really silly names… names that sound like Southern outlaw talent mystery janitors, like Billy Moe Pickins. Jebb Dirt. Sassy Hutchins. Need an example of such a ridiculous monicker? Dierks Bentley.
So turn off the godforsaken M83, Reptar, Black Keys, or whatever hipster dreck thats currently taking your earhole virginity and take a bite out of these glorious jams. Side of Ranch not included.