My partner in firecrochety crime might have some competition. Don’t go cray cray, Lilo – you’re still the wind beneath my freckled wings. But my newest favorite human award goes to Kate Upton.
1 – ChiChis. Being flat and waify is so 5 minutes ago. Tatalats are back, y’all. Shimmy Shimmy coco puff, shimmy shimmy wow.
2. THE CAT DADDY. The newest dance to erupt across youtube and for Babygirl to practice at high volumes when she’s home alone and drinking chard.
I wonder who Goldfarb is? Terry’s such a whackjob.
3. She shares my name. Kate, Katie, Katherine – Most legit and most AMERICAN female name out there, y’all. It’s Anglo-Saxon origin (whattup, Middleton!?) makes it even more top drawer. I can name you a plethora of awesome Kate/Katys: Perry, Hudson, Capshaw (Mrs. Steven Spielberg), the chick from that whack ass new musical show on NBC, and Katherine Hepburn. I also tend to find sidekicks also named Katie (shout out to KTP and Mrs. Lines!) because introducing yourself to new people as “Katy and Katie” never gets old. And guys never forget your name that way. Giggity.
But back to Upton – What a sloot, what a story.
She somehow got herself famous in the Tila Tequila MySpace Creepy cyber skank fashion, and the next thing you know she’s rocking Tom Ford and gracing the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue. And she’s not a liar. She likes to boogie. And she clearly likes mowing on the chines, per the jiggling.