Happy Humpdizzle, Peasants.
Yeah Yeah blahibity bloo babbity blah it’s been a while since you’ve gotten your daily dose of crazy. Sorry I’m not sorry if I took a well-deserved blog break. Or perhaps my creative hiatus is due to the fact that I’ve been getting semi-stalked and creeped out by some rando Buffalo Bill Jr. Word to the wise: I’m considering getting a conceal and carry permit. The South makes it real easy for chickenheads to procure a glock. And if a loony bag like me with a firearm doesn’t scare you, I don’t know what will.
Anywhoowhoo, Hump Day means a gratuitous Mean Girls reference, obvi:
Cady Heron My Twin Lindy Lohandiddle, bitch is getting all sorts of bent out of shape for her upcoming Lifetime portrayl as the equally troubled but awesome hot mess, the late great Liz Taylor.
According to the always reliable Perez Hilton, “Lindsay wants somebody more A List than the 3 actors the producres are currently considering; Matthew Settle, Craig Robert Young, and Sean Maguire… Lindsay is being an absolute nightmare about who should play Burton. The producers don’t need to get Lindsay’s approval of who will play Richard Burton, but they want to keep her happy. They are already in pre-production and it’s very hard to conduct any rehearsals without the pivotal role of Richard Burton.”
First off, shut your piehole, Perez. Calling Lindsay a “nightmare” is frankly comical coming from a guy that took a lie detector test to prove to the world that he
mouth-raped made out with John “gutter wangis” Mayer one time at the Roxy. Who hasn’t tapped that? Two words for you: SHARK LOUNGE. Ugh Perez. Nice speech impediment, Donkeydick. Try being as funny as our hero at Dlisted. Oh wait, impossible. That guy is a genius. A lucite-loving, Silver Fox-enthralled genius.
But back to my long-lost TH #3: Lindsay, apart from throwing shade at her producers, is also rumored to be getting really into character. I applaud you.
Method acting is the way to go. BE the baller. If there’s one thing in this world I consider a surefire confidence-booster it would be Costumes! Sometimes, before a big day at the Legislature, I’ll watch Game Change, Recount, or a snipit from The American President to get in the zone. Heckle for a freckle and holler for a dollar.