Happy Memorial Day Weekend! If you’re like me and stuck in the office till COB, I feel your pain.
We here at the Festivus love all things America and have mucho respect for those that serve our country and protect us from evil-doers. And who doesn’t love a man in uniform? Besides New Years, I’d say Fleet Week in NYC is my favorite damn hollday.
Marjorie helps foster international diplomacy and Beezus likes picnics. But obviouslyyyy I consider myself the most patriotic of the bunch, seeing as I live in a swing state, am the closest to military hotspots like Ft. Bragg and Camp Lejeune, loathe European hygene standards and hostels, and have made out with the most Republicans.
To honor our fallen heroes, and those who lived long after their time of service, I think one of the best ideas our country ever came up with was USO shows! What a way to give those mens what they want. Some booty shorts and some wiggles. The late Marty and Arthur Feinberg not only kicked some Nazi anus back in WWII, but were appreciators of good looking broads.
So here’s to all the brave men and women who fight for Amurica. Whether you’re piling onto the Hampton Jitney or at a backyard BBQ listening to Jason Aldean, I hope everyone remembers to thank a vet and think of all those still overseas, merking the bad guys. Buy them a drink, like this one: