Forget about the economy, crooked Voter ID laws, or the fate of the Affordable Care Act; our country’s biggest problem might just be the appaling number of biddies with terrible hair.
Why the tits would you want a fish on your dome? This is some mangey rat-tail on crack nonsense. The fact that this is trendaaayyy at fashion week or whatever is a travesty. People, STOP PINNING this ish on Pinterest.
Holy smokes is this fugly. WHY GOD WHY do brides and pageant pansies across ‘Amurica continue to curl the pretty out of their strands and insist on looking like total cheese dicks?? Put down the curling iron and slap yourself.
A continuation of the fake-curl craze, but with a Nashville taint. Young girls are not only being subjected to this f-tard’s terrible boy rants, but to spirals of shame growing from her skull.
And now, the most comical and horrible of them all:
Sure, this Middle American baby-making machine of filth has a new hairstyle these days that properly matches her Dancing with the Stars
cosmetic surgery “weight loss,” i.e. plastered straight platinum mediocrity. But the damage has been done. Her adaptation of the lady mullet is unforgiveable. Just visit Ohio and you’ll see what I’m talking about. You can’t swing a discounted Coach bag without bopping into a suburban Sally sporting this Skunk style.
Then again, she might have borrowed the concept from Marcy the pesky neighbor on Married with Children:
Yes, easy for us to say. Weave magic comes naturally to Feinbergs with thick, lustruous manes. But heaven knows each of us had had our moments of coif malfunction. At my going-away party at SHARK LOUNGE, I got a little tipsy and asked for a lighter from a bum on the corner. Dumb Dumb Babygirl didn’t realize said lighter was in fact a crack torch and ended up singeing the front section of her hair, resulting in the wonky-ass bangs that took a damn year and countless bottles of Bioltin to finally grow out. Word to the wise, self-trimming doesn’t work.
Anywhoobidtyboobles, Babygirl has a very particular aesthetic when it comes to dome piece stylings: semi-retro, teasing at the crown, and volume volume volume.
Here are some of my suggested HAIR DOs: