There’s been a lot of Scientology talk in the press lately, feeding further fuel to my fire. Katie Holmes, former glassy eyed Cruise-Bot, has proved herself quite the badass in the aftermath of this whole Tom Cruise divorce circus. In case you’ve been living under a rock for the past 3 weeks, let me break it down for you:
- June 28th – Katie Holmes files for divorce!!! Tabloids around the globe practically pee themselves from excitement.
- Right away, Scientology is pegged as the major cause for the rift. Um, DUHHH. When side-talking Joey Potter can smell the crazy, you know that shit ain’t right.
- Turn out she’s been renting her own apartment in Manhattan for months so she could file for divorce in New York. Why? Because she knows everyone in LA is drinking the Cruise Kool-Aid.
- Holmes also fired Cruise’s daughter Isabella from her clothing line AND was using pay-as-you-go cell phones to avoid detection leading up to the filing. DAMN, this broad is good.
- The internets are abuzz with rumors that the last straw was Cruise’s intention to enroll Suri in Sea Org, i.e Scientology’s program of indentured, militaristic servitude that involves serving on Scientology’s own naval vessel, the Freewinds. Seriously, I shit you not. http://www.freewinds.org/
- PS, Tom Cruise is BFF with David Miscavige, the head of Scientology. Here’s a pic of them in uh, leathers. Just sayin’.
- Scientology is known for alienating members from former-members, calling them “suppressive persons.” Case in point – Nicole Kidman and her adopted kids with Tom, Cruise and Isabella. Both kids are 100% Scientologists – raised in the church and school by church members. Isabella even dates a fellow Scientologist.
- Word is Nicole hasn’t seen them in years, and hasn’t been photographed with them publicly in just as many. This was their last public appearance – in 2007!! Totally doesn’t looked staged or anything.
- July 9th – the divorce is settled!! 13 days is a crazy short amount of time to settle a divorce. Linda used to be a divorce lawyer, so I should know. Seriously, Katie must have had some DIRT on Tom, namely his affairs with several high-profile individuals (*cough cough David Beckham cough*).
Reports are saying that Katie agreed to all points from the prenuptial agreement, including the financials, but put her foot down when it came to Suri and religion. This is some straight-up Not Without My Daughter shit. For real.
So, good luck to you Katie and Suri, enjoy the Big Apple. And Katie, for your next man piece let me suggest Taylor Kitsch, of recent Savages fame. He’s young, he’s hot, and has no discernible cult leanings or fanatical streak. SHA-wing.