It’s a travesty that beer has become the douchenozzle’s hobby of choice.
Seriously though, I went to a tasting at Flying Dog’s brewery in Maryland recently, and a couple of shmeeblers on our tour brought a BABY. Newsflash: Babies are the biggest buzzkill to ever emerge from a uterus. Here I am trying to enjoy a nice cold pint of Raging Bitch, and these hateful trolls are burping their little doody monster like it’s no biggie. I just can’t.
But worry not, beer gods: I just can’t quit you. Me without beer would be like…. me really skinny and really sober. Yo no lo comprendo.
Which brings me to my favorite beers for enjoying during the summertime. Word to the wise: if you can’t find these gems at your local bodega, a little googling will almost always take you to a local distributer’s site that will tell you where to buy it.
Anderson Valley Summer Solstice
This shiz is real good. It brings to mind those first rays of sunshine after an afternoon thunderstorm, only without the frizzy weave and threat of electrocution-by-puddle.
Chug it with: Grilled skirt steak and mango black bean salsa. Don’t mind if I do!
Avery White Rascal
White Rascal literally feels like an albino little devil is doing a jig on your liver. A little coriander, a little orange peel, and I’m good to go.
Chug it with: Some freshly caught Barnegat Light seafood. Seared scallops or fluke sashimi, anyone?
Schlafly Bière de Garde
Last night, Snags and I went to see Beasts of the Southern Wild, which gave me the sads in the worst way. Just when I thought I would go to bed with night terrors about a 6 year old girl named Hushpuppy being devoured by prehistoric giant pigs, I gulped down a tall glass of Schlafly’s Biere de Garde and felt right as rain. It’s rich, it’s sweet, it’s citrusy… it’s the perfect cure to the common why-did-I-subject-myself-to-this-depressing-Indie-movie blues.
Chug it with: District of Pi‘s capitol salad (arugula, cucumber, feta, mint and olive-orange tapanade)
Flying Dog Pearl Necklace Oyster Stout
I know, I know. I must be huffing glue adding a stout to my list of summer beers. But let me paint a picture for you mis amigos: It’s July. You’re in a seafood shack by the sea. A monsoon rolls in. It’s warm, but you need something comforting and delicious to wash down those Blue Points, Rappahanocks, and Kumamotos.
Now try telling me I’m huffing glue. Mmmmmmhhmmmm.