So help me God, Bill is at it again… No, not THAT Bill. Keep your eye rolls to a minimum, peasants.
Mr. Compton’s getting all evil and it gives me a deep, deep pain in my insides. Come to think of it, it’s probably from all the Chard I consume during the program – but we all know that sharp oaky goodness ain’t goin’ nowhere. Sorry for partying, Liver.
Back to Trueblood. Things I hate about Vampire Bill:
1. His accent goes in and out. Mr. Paquin’s true British roots spill out and this dialect changes distract me into thinking of his other sexual and violent work in Quills. Hot mess. Pick a continent and visit your vocal coach.
2. He keeps pickle-tickling Salomie. She has weird boobs. There, I said it.
3. He found Jesus in a bloody bush monster.
4. He is totally neglecting his progeny aka the hot ginge 2.0 that is Jessica. Every guy I know says that she revs their engine. Tip of that, fuegolocks. Teach me some moves. But seriously, Bill is stupes for leaving Jess alone in her principles back in Bon Temps when the whole world’s about to shit the bed.
5. Like the teaser for next week told us, he time and again betrays the bejesus out of everyone. MMmmmhhhmmmm. And this is coming from the original Team Bill posterchild! Sookie you dumb dumb fairyskank: Lorena should have been enough proof that Bill’s got some issues. Focus on Eric.
Rant’s over, gang. Its truly hard to hate on my jimmy jam that just started keeping me interested and off of Pinterest. Hot dang is the show getting good again! Returning to the way Charlaine Harris wanted it: soft porn meets Whodunit mystery with an accent! Russel can do no wrong. LOVE that he’s replacing Talbott’s listhping ass with Steve Newlin. I don’t even mind that he puppy-napped Shiva’s bebe. Those two are dyanmite and might have better chemistry than yours truly and RDJ. *SIGH*