There are two types of Instagrammers in this world: the post’ers and the creepers. The latter exist on IG as silent followers, we’ll leave them alone for the time being. The former are the subject of this post, and guilty of at least a few of the 7 Deadly Sins of Instagram Posting.
Full disclosure: I am a post’er. In a show of self-awareness (and/or vanity) I’m using my account to illustrate these transgressions, and offer a few suggestions for avoiding my mistakes.
Gratuitous Narcissism. Sometimes you just can’t help yourself.
If you ask Katy, she’ll tell you selfies are acceptable in moderation, i.e. once every few months. Marjorie thinks they’re never acceptable under any circumstance ever and will gchat you with the word HUMILITY in all caps the second the selfie goes up. I’d say once a year lands you in the clear.
Insta-Bragging Look at this amaaaaazing place I am right now!
To be fair, I was in Aspen and the scenery was especially amazing. My error lay in the repetition of posts. 1 post is sharing, 3 posts in a row is braggy. Live and learn.
FOMO Baiting #squad #crew #nonewfriends
The Instagram equivalent of middle school clique naming (Kick Six, Elite Eight, Divine Nine, The Plastics). In my own defense I didn’t #squad this one, but the subtext is always “I’m having a better time than you are.” Which I’m sure you are, but still. HUMILITY.
Inspirational Quoting Depends where you land on the snark meter.
Myself, I’m too much of a sarcastic bitch to post inspirational quotes and platitudes. But if they make you feel inspired, to each their own. Although remember that life is very weird and very funny. Take a page from The Fat Jew and embrace the bizarre hilarity of it all.
Compliment Fishing When you know you look DAMN good, but you just.need.others. to say it too
I knowwww. If you have to, like I did because . . . . . gold dress, better limit to 1 picture with at least 1 other person in the frame to at least pretend it’s not all about you.
Inside-Joke Hashtaggery Similar to FOMO Baiting, no less annoying
There are different camps of hashtaggers. The searchable tagger (#EEEEEATS), the inspirational tagger (#brave, #strong), the acronym tagger (#MCM, #TBT, #FBF), the sarcastic tagger (#sorryimnotsorry), and the inside joke tagger (#insertinscrutablephrasemeanttobefunnyhere). Don’t be that guy.
Criminal Over-Filtering Step away from the Sutro
Let me tell you, I looked a lot more drunk and a lot less dewy IRL. Just make sure to pepper your feed with equal parts filter and non-filter, because at the end of the day, you ain’t fooling nobody. Same goes for your “atmospheric” pics . . .
On Instagram (just call me Berenice Abbott) :
In Real Life (not so much):
There you have it, the 7 most egregious ways to annoy your cohorts on Instagram. God speed, and good luck on the ‘gram!