As mentioned in my Ye Olde Seaport post, Babygirl and I live in Fidi, a conglomerative term coined by the real estate machine to re-brand Manhattan’s Financial District as a hip, up n’ coming residential hood. Being two unattached females of a certain dating age, we naturally thought placing ourselves in close proximity to the predominantly male financial industry would perhaps result in at least a few fruitful interactions with eligible members/future breadwinners of the opposite sex.
You know what we got down here at the ol’ tip of the island? A whole bunch of Jabroni Bologna, as Babygirl the wordsmith wizard has so aptly named it.
For the unitiated, “jabroni” emerged as a derogatory term sometime in the last decade of the 20th century. The word’s proliferation, if not it’s creation, is widely credited to former WWE wrestler The Rock (who subsequently pulled a Schwarzenegger and successfully purloined a D-list career to a starring role on an HBO dramedy, but I digress). According to Google (Alphabet? God?), the literal meaning is
jabroni. noun. in professional wrestling, a wrestler who loses in order to make another wrestler look good; also called jobber. Usage Note. slang.
For years “jabroni” languished in the vernacular vacuum of professional wrestling aficionados. In 2010, Comedy Central’s improvisational comedy It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia introduced the word to the almighty 18-39 television demographic, while admittedly not really knowing what the hell it means. According to Mac and Charlie, being a “jabroni” is something to avoid, but saying it sounds awesome.
Left open to such broad interpretation, our generation has since co-opted the word to express the following about a particular kind of male:
jabroni. noun. in post millenial slang, any guy over the age of 16 but particularly in the twentysomething range displaying pro-bro, anti-intellectual leanings and passably acceptable personal style 1-2 grades below that of metrosexual but several shades above guido. Bulkier than a hipster, less cut than a gym rat, lacks the gut and cocaine bloat of an aging preppy. Not above some assclown-ery behavior, still better than a douchebag. 3 years ago said Brooklyn was for losers, now lives in Williamsburg. Or FiDi. Favorite film: Boiler Room. Favorite food: spicy tuna rolls. Uses emojis on Tinder. Undoubtedly has pic of him and his bros in tank tops on Tinder. Takes his Tinder dates to UrbanDaddy spots in the West Village like the otheroom, Employees Only, and Little Branch. Refers to bars as “spots.” Trading or real estate are his bread and butter. Fastest way to get his attention on OKCupid is mention your affinity for the Yankees. Prefers bros before hoes. Was a frat boy in college, but not a lax bro. THOSE guys are the worst. Usage note. Jabronis have yet to adopt the term as their own. Only break it out behind their back.
The subsequent addition of “Bologna” is purely for rhythmic purposes. And there you have it, the glorious pickins’ Katy and I are working with in FiDi. Beezus and Babygirl vs. The Jubroni Bologna. Classic misunderstanding the assignment.