Lil’ Beezy may like herself some garbage television, but babygirl feels the need to take a shower and drink a cup of chamomile tea after being subjected to most of the dreck on the tube. I think it is necessary to point out that the worst offender of society-ruining cable programming is…those overly-bronzed, illegitimate swamp donkey slampigs who must not be named. Let me make it perfectly clear that we do not tolerate comparisons with those assbags. Shame on you for even going there. And I mean you, Fishman.
Cue the Beach Boys classic, “Make It Big”, as seen in the Troop Beverly Hills opening credits.
My ass always knew we’d get famous for one reason or another. As a fun game to distract from my glass case of emotion and as an extension of the ongoing True Hollywood Story of my life, I’ve done a little casting as to who should portray us on the silver screen:
ScarJo and/or Jennifer Lawrence from the Hunger Games. Mar and I still think she’d be played by Angela Chase/Claire Danes, but to each their own. Whatever bitty plays this role needs to be bossy as f, slightly unhinged, and shy without being a mute.
Kat Dennigs, Reese Witherspoon as Tracy “Type-A Nutjob” Flick in Election. Kat D is such a boss and so fierce. Feinbergs first started relating to this trick in the Tri State area JAP love story, Nick & Nora yada yada. Marge’s face is much prettier.
LILO, in her bountiful Aaron Carter phase. Bryce Dallas Howard could also work since she knows how to rock the look of the fair-skinned, semi-Ginge, mean-pouted demon.