Goodness Gracious, Great Balls of Firecrotch.
According to our sources…
Lindsay Lohan has been sued by a nanny who claims LiLo creamed her in a Maserati.
The accident occurred in September, 2010. TMZ broke the story … a witness claimed he saw Lindsay run a red light in her sports car in West Hollywood, hitting a nanny who was pushing a stroller across the intersection.
The witness claimed 3 of the 4 wheels on the stroller became airborne. The child wasn’t injured but the nanny — Nubia Del Carmen Preza — claims she was, and that’s why she is suing.
And get this … the witness told us, “She was in shock and Hispanic so she was scared.”
The lawsuit seeks unspecified damages.
This nanny should be so lucky that she got her carriage scissored by my bff’s fly ride. Nubia should be thanking her lucky damn stars that she got to be an eyewitness to one of Lilo’s epic benders. What I would do to be in her soon to be deported shoes!
Besides, Feinbergs have mixed feelings about nannies. We had quite a few. Many were terrible drivers, others liked the sauce. Some tried to beat us, kidnap us to Jamaica, insisted upon playing with the Ouija board, while others spoke in tongues. So if Lohandjobs wants to rid the children of the world of one more annoying caregiver, I say have at it!
People probably think that Linds would be an unfit guardian. I beg to differ. She always has baby powder on hand for a dipey change, she can sing them to sleep with her timeless hits like “Rumors,” and “Confessions of a Broken Hearts.” Also, everyone knows kids love a broad with large chesticles. Meeeelk.
One more lawsuit and homegirl will have spent more time in front of a judge than the most wonderful person to ever live/greatest legal mind of the century, Mrs. Lindsay N. Feinberg, esq… aka MOMMYYYYY. Speaking of which, our Mom would know what to do in a jam like this. It would probably involve a stern talking to followed by some GINGER ale and maybe some lettuce wraps at Chang a lang a ding dongs.
My BFFAE obviously got the short end of the stick in the Madre department: