Consider this the SHIT SOUTHERN GIRLS SAY post. What the peoples really need is a Shit Feinbergs Say, or Shit Michelle Obama Says when she’s Fired Up, or Shit my BFFer Lindsay Lohan Says to get some crickity crack rock and NERDS. Now we’re talking.
Fiddle Dee Dee, as God as My Witness, I’ll never go without hot rollers again! You have to hand it to my ladies down here – they have it down to a science. I sometimes find myself in situations where I’ll want to join in the fray and say things like: “Good Gracious!” or call boys “Shugah!” In my case more like Equal or Splenda.
I’d love to start my sentences – breathlessly – with, “well…” or “I tell you WHAT..” and most importantly, “Didn’t I see you at Church on Sunday?” Sigh. Don’t worry, I still fake the accent plenty.
Here are the classics:
Oh my goodness –
Feigned Surprise; What the Shit; Definitly not dropping the lord’s name in vain, y’all!
Pass the Ranch –
For everything! BBQ, pizza, kale, horse, mahi mahi, and even as lube.
Depending on the inflection, usually indicative of being impressed, shocked, confused, or all three.
Where are you from again? –
Get your hands off my man you Yankee Bitch!
Let’s go to Charlotte –
There’s dramz in Raleigh.
He Seems Cute –
I smell husband material.
He reminds me of my Daddy –
I’m going to play the wholesome card.
Bless your Heart! –
You are stupid & pitiful
Go State/Heels/Blue Devils/Pirates (ECU) –
I just love myself some tailgates and wearing unflattering university colors and getups.
Angel!/Arnt you Just the Sweetest Thing! –
Did you See the Bachelor last night? –
I will be the next Emily Maynard.