A little while back, Bayzoos (i’m feeling phonetic today) penned an ode to Pinterest, the online scrapbooking tool that has recently become a hotter topic of conversation among 20-60 something females than menstrual cycles, bitchy friends, LIARS, and low-carb diets.
Today I gave up on being the lone holdout in my cohort and gave Pinterest a spin, partly to see what the big effing deal was and partly to see how it stacked up against my online shopping aggregator of choice, Svpply.
The verdict? Pinterest is wack. I had to delete my account mere hours after I created it just so I would never have to spend another second looking at striped “vintage” drinking straws.
Seriously though, am I missing something here?
- Visually it’s a hot ass mess. I get dizzy just looking at it. Pass the Excedrin.
- What’s with the “request an invitation” charade? Clearly there are no criteria to create an account, so don’t make my ass wait a full 24 hours just to sign on. Utterly fakakta.
- I need a way to screen out all of the garbage I don’t give a shiz about, namely wedding shiz, inspirational quote shiz, snickerdoodle recipe shiz, and a whole bunch of fugly footwear shiz.
- Girls who publicly plan their weddings when they are currently single give me the sads.
- Girls with boyfriends but no rock who publicly plan their weddings make me wonder how they still have boyfriends.
- WHERE. ARE. ALL. THE. MENFOLK? The whole virtual girl-world thing makes my skin crawl. Two cc’s of testosterone and masculine brooding STAT, per below.
Anywhoobitydoobity, the moral of the story is that everyone needs to wake the eff up and switch over to Svpply. Same idea, fewer Vera-crazed chickenheads and bored Wisconsin housewives. It’s streamlined, visually appealing, and makes impulse purchases super easy. Better yet, it’s a self-selecting yuppy paradise. For some reason, everyone on Svpply has good taste, so you won’t be slogging through overplayed wedding drek for hours on end.