Feinbergs may not be the most athletic broads on the block, but we sure do enjoy ourselves some tennis.
A) Tennis is second only to polo in the world of top drawer sports.
B) It can be played relatively successfully with minimal physical effort. (In other words, no sweating out your weave.)
C) Probably the flyest outfits in all of sportswear.
D) Male tennis players = oui oui oui. Observe:
Now, I know you’ve all been losing sleep wondering how my first two weeks as an unemployed house wench have been going. Well writhe in suspense no more: It’s going swimmingly, thank you very much. Unscheduled leisure may take a little while to get used to, but I think I’m finally settling into my true calling in life: waking up at 10 AM and getting to enjoy our nation’s capitol without all the people around to muck it up.
In addition to the fine folks at Vida Fitness, I owe my success as a stay-at-home-24yearoldgirl in large part to Wimbledon, without which I would be stuck folding laundry while watching QVC and Kathy “It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere” Lee all the live long day.
And no, I’m not talking about the vastly underappreciated romantic comedy starring Kirsten Dunst and Paul Bettany, although I do own the DVD. I’m talking about the tennis tournament where the players have to wear all white and the commentators frequently talk about how “these balls are so heavy!”
Ha! You said balls.
Anywhodoesn’tenjoytesticlejokes, I’m pulling for Andy Murray to win the men’s singles and Serena Williams to win the women’s. I used to root for Andy Roddick because he once gave me a hug when I snuck past security at Arthur Ashe while he was practicing. But ever since he started to SOOK and married Brooklyn “I’m famous for showing off my chi chis this one time in an Adam Sandler movie nobody ever saw” Decker, Andy lost me forever.
And I know I’m one of the last folks on the Serena train, but hot damn do I love a good hot tranny mess! If you’ve never laid your eyeballs on one of Serena’s lessons in how to sassmouth an umpire/ linesperson/ humanbeingwithuglyinsides, you haven’t lived.