One of my favorite recurring features in women’s glossy mags are “What’s in My Bag” snippets in which celebs empty out the contents of their purses to reveal cutesy and affordable doodads and jimjams.
Unfortunately I’m not much of a handbag girl – were it not for JTJ and OLP’s annual Hanukkah gift spectaculars I’d probably be stuffing credit cards and cash in my bra straps. As it is, I’ve been walking around with various beach satchels for weeks like a tanorexic hobo (I like to live in a perpetual state of Jones Beach-readiness come July).
However, I do have a few tricks up the ol’ sleeve that keep me staying fresh to death, Festivus-style. In no particular order:
Dr. Pepper Lipsmackers
No, I am not 10 years old. Yes, I am the goddamn genius that knows Dr. Pepper Lipsmacker is sheer, pretty, smells good and attracts the mens. Fact.
I’m something of an earbud-Nazi. Those bulbous Jelly buds refuse to stay in my cranium. SkullCandy sucks my bungus. And don’t even get me started on the Apple earphones – what is it with Apple and never being loud enough? Am I in crazytown?? Anywho, Urbanears are sold at Urban Outfitters for $60 and feature customizable earpieces. They fit snugly and get really, realllly loud.
Hollywood Fashion Tape
I’ve had nights out where I’m literally taped up in 5-6 different places. Amazingly handy stuff.
Hi, my name’s Betsy and I’m a Nerdaholic.
People often ask me why I love Nerds. Well, I love the shake-shaking noise they make as they pour out the spout. I love the salty, tart sweetness and the crunchy feeling of pouring a handful down your gullet. If Duane Reade cooperated and finally started selling these amazing morsels I’d have a full-on addiction.
Nars Laguna Bronzing Powder
All 3 Feinbergs have sworn by Laguna for years. Too many bronzers have orange undertones. This one is all brown, all tan, all the time.
Nicka K Rose Cleansing Tissues
Muff and Babygirl will vehemently refute me on this point, but the rose-scented wipes at Ricky’s are waaaay better than those chemically perfumed Neutrogena wipes. Hmm, refreshing rose or lab-tested polyeurathenalolbungus? I wonder which is better . . . .
Wrigley 5 Gum
You know what I hate? Trident. And Orbit. And any other chicklet-sized gum. They dissolve into miniscule wads within minutes and I always end up swallowing them. Wrigley 5 is the shiznit. Spread the word.
Triple Lanolin Aloe Vera Lotion
You know that amazing lotion they use at all Korean nail salons during that blessed 30-second hand massage between buffing and polish? Yeah, this is that stuff. You’re welcome.
FOR THE LOVE OF LITTLE BABY JESUS WHEN WILL THE EXCEDRIN RECALL EVER END???